Now this is magical thinking I can respect!

7 12 2007

Indigenous Australians pay their respects to the former member for Bennelong. (Via Oz Atheist)


Howard vs. Aboriginal Australians





Highlights from the comments at Catch the Fire (before they’re disappeared)

4 12 2007

Catch The Fire has been getting a lot of traffic, it appears, since it became apparent to all and sundry that God/Pastor Nalliah backed the wrong horse in the recent Federal Election. The administrators appear to have relaxed their unstated ban on critical comments, for now, and you can find some of those at the end of this post. But most of the following extracts of comments are from true believers, responding to Nalliah’s “explanation” for the miserable failure of his pre-election prophecy. I’ve separated them into categories . . .

Why, God? Why?

Many people from a number of Churches were gathering over a period of time and praying taht “God’s will would be done at this election”.

Does God not place any value on our prayers? (Richard–who I suspect might be one of ours)

Stock-standard lunacy

Apparently a psychic predicted a Rudd win. That alone tells me what Rudd is about and that I don’t want to be on side with these occult voices. (Aurora)

We were spoken to through Judges 20 in that there must be determination that the battle must continue, regardless of the defeats, for in this passage the Lord says go up, but they were slaughtered – and yet they came together as one nation – almost – at the time. Later you find they were not all together – there were still those who were not with them in chapter 21. But God gave them victory regardless – the third time. We also had a dream of 3 snakes which looked fierce but were easily destroyed. So, we continue to pray the prayers we were supplied with before the election, but must now pray them in the context of what the Lord will do. He is the God of miracles. (Ken & Adrianne)

I agree with what you have said, and I must admit when I heard the news of Labor’s victory, I was led to read from Lamentations. I believe God was grieving as I was. (Trisha)

Lawyering for Jesus

Some people may not be aware that prophecy is conditional: upon both prayer and obedience.(Pastor Marilyn McKenny)

I noted that when you declared what the Lord had told you, you included the word “IF”. While some would see this as a disclaimer for you to dodge criticism should the prophetic word not come to pass – the “IF” is meant to be an encouragement & motivation to the Church. 2 Chron 7:14 is an example of this type of condition. “IF my people….. etc”. Obviously, the condition was not met.(Pastor Bob Cotton, another Lawyer for Jesus)

We have had situations the same , where God made his will known but it went the other way because no one was listening or prophecies were misinterpreted through poor theology, or prayer was weak . (Des & Christine Gibson)

…. you did not get it wrong….. we the body of Christ did – oh for ears that will listen. (Allen Moore)

Thankyou O servant of the Most High God.
I don’t believe you got it wrong. I’ve never heard God say “oops”. (Robyn)

A while ago, before I knew of your election prophecy I had a vision of John Howard standing defeated he was a broken man in my vision weeping and worn out. It then troubled me because of what your prophecy had declared, I thought how could 2 opposite things come from the same source of eternal truth?

After you had pointed out that the lack of unity in the Body was the cause for Labor’s win (and many other problems we are facing) it brought a sense of peace(knowing that this vision was correct and from our Lord) and sadness too for I had wanted the Liberal party to win also. (Andrew, on how the power of Christ can resolve glaring contradictions)

Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt

The people have demanded a king and God has given us one (I Sam 8) . You, the prophet, has faithfully warned the nation, but God is preparing David, even while Saul is in power. (Jill)

As to your question did I vote them in no I personally didn’t, I advised people who would listen and my children to vote family first so as not to go down the road of lust and lies in human nature so called…. My children listened but most others didn’t, while handing out how to vote cards for family first only over a period of 2 hours 2 people only asked for family first the rest graciously took all information handed to them.
Sadly we now have a party that tends to sway against biblical values and advise, but like the good book says it is our job as believers to continue to pray for the government elect and let the Lord God Jesus stir their waters and relies their ways, not to implement change that will bring the Christians
Down as God the Almighty will not allow this to happen and bad times will fall upon them in sickness and decease (Argument from consequences from Sharon)

The Lord said to me the problem is the state of the hearts & the sin of His people who are blinded and have voted foolishly, so the Lord will have to allow the people to learn the hard way & to actually have to wake up by personal suffering & experience….
I too and many ohters I have spoken to suffered greatly on that first night really struggling with the Lord…and on Sunday night, the Lord lead me to Jn 11 and the Lazarus story, yet again (Emphasis and hyperlink added. Very cheeky, Hilary)

Praise the Lord and pass the tinfoil

I think we actually are going to experience some things that we need not have endured… ( like the 40 years in the wilderness.. due to the idolitary etc.. .. reminds me too ” oh foolish Galations.. who has bewitched you”…)
I also really feel deeply for John Howard,. (Me too, Marg. Me too.)

Very well written – couldn’t agree more; this nation is headed straight toward end times and has joined the ranks – need we have been surprised? (John & Louise)

I could hardly sleep last Saturday night for anguish as to what was happening in the election. I saw the jubilation from the Labor camp as releasing a demonic flow over the country, a vicious rabble that had been waiting, scrapping behind the starting barriers, to burst out upon their legal release: the announcement of Labor victory. They knew they were about to get freedom. They had already cornered and achieved confusion in Howard who, not having enough knowledge or power through the Holy Spirit, had crumbled on some major as well as minor issues, providing further fuel for the blind amongst Christian brothers and sisters to vote against him.(Clare)

Some months before the election I talked with a spirit-filled pastor who has a lot of contact with parliamentarians in Canberra. Not long beforehand he had been phoned up by Kevin Rudd asking for prayer. It wasn’t my place to ask more, but the pastor volunteered that Kevin Rudd was unequally yoked to Julia Gillard. She represents the socialist left wing of the Labour Party. While not electable in her own right as a Prime Minister, I expect she will use her anti-Christian influence as Jezebel did through Ahab. (Malcolm McCaskill)

Your reference to “wolves in sheep’s clothing” is particularly appropriate as this is the tactic used by the Fabian Society in the world and Australia – to subtly infiltrate the key areas of society and gain social change and power. I understand that the Fabian Society’s original symbol was a wolf in sheep’s clothing but was changed as this was too obvious to what they were on about. The Fabian Society has a long history of anti-Christian activity (including shocking acceptance of depraved sexual practices), and I understand that the current membership of the Australian branch is composed of Gough Whitlam (president) and a number of former Labor prime ministers. The Fabian Society’s links and debt to Lenin is alive and well, and their influence on the Labor spirit is also alive and well.

The Labor Party is actually not a political party at all – it masquerades as one. It is a religious party with its doctrine being humanism, atheism, and naturalism, and its god is man (that is, the glorification of man to solve all problems in the world and society to the blasphemous exclusion of its Creator – God). (David)

Theocracy

The Father did not ask His Children for much, not as much as His has asked of others; He did not ask us to be imprisoned for this election/He did not ask us to give our life for this election/No, all He asked was that we follow His Will (He wasn’t taking our freedom of choice He would never do that, He gave us a choice: Follow His Will/Don’t follow His Will)…it was all very simple what He was asking His people.

We as the Father’s Children were meant to stand in the gap for those who don’t know Him. (Cindy. That’s chilling.)

But I wonder how long the following comments will last . . .

Thank you for the explaination. But why are you so frightened by the ALP win?

I am a Christian – and I don’t believe I have to be Right-Wing to be so. I probably did not vote the way you did. Does this mean, in your mind, that I am not a listening, committed Christian.

I have close connections with your home country Sri Lanka. And I have seen what awful things happen in that nation when the Buddhists try to be involved in politics.

You claim that your prophecy regarding John Howard being elected was stymied by the Christians who did not agree with you. Were they not listening to God?

It is right that we test prophecy. I am sure you agree. Do you know that many Christians and Christian leaders in this nation were praying for an end to dishonest government and trusted that God would work through Kevin Rudd, another Christian?

Are we wrong and you are right? Have you seriously searched your heart about this? (Bryan)

I thought the correct answer was YES I did get it wrong!!!

However you won’t publish any comments that differ from your point of view.

Thank God that His wisdom is greater than your’s. I will pray for you. (Rod)

Danny,
I know the Lord has plans for good for all who follow his word and accept his son Jesus. You spoke at my church and I believe your prophesy extended to Peter Costello. Could you please comment.

Also you published on your website a prophesy of Kenneth Copeland:

“God’s man in Australia stood up and publicly declared Australia a Christian nation! ‘If you want to come here and join us in our Christian faith you are welcome here but don’t think you can come in here and try and force some other religion here on us and don’t think you are going to tell us how to believe God and who we are going to worship.’ He publicly did that,

now this is no time for that man to be defeated. Well he’s not going to be. Amen.

He is Lord to the glory of God the Father. He is Lord to the glory of God the Father. He is Lord over Australia! It has been announced! Amen.”

It would appear this prophesy was false? Could you please comment. (Brendan Willis)

Commenter James Garth published his “Open Letter to Pastor Nalliah” on his own blog.





In which Pastor Nalliah ‘splains hisself.

29 11 2007
God: Attorney At Law

Pastor Nalliah’s first post-election contribution to the Catch a Fire blog is titled:

Election 2007 – Did I get it wrong?

Yes, you did, Danny. Yes, you did.

Ordinarily you would expect someone who has been as comprehensively embarrassed by the facts as Nalliah to pack up his revival tent and slither away quietly into the night with what remains of the smoking ruins of his credibility. But Nalliah still has gallons of snake-oil to sell, and legions of gullible halfwits who are simply gagging for the stuff. And so he returns to “help you in better understanding the results of the Election 2007.”

He opens with persecution mania and an appeal to pity. In spite of “the fiery storm of accusation, criticism and persecution,” [INSERT BIBLE VERSE HERE], God has given Danny broad enough shoulders “to cop quite a bit of flak.” Nonetheless, “the weekend of the election was one of the worst weekends in my life.” Why? Because God’s anointed vessel John Howard had just suffered a massive defeat in the polls, and to top things off, Nalliah’s father-in-law in Sri Lanka had taken seriously ill. “Bible believing Christians struggle not against flesh and blood, but wrestle against principalities and powers of spiritual darkness,” and Satan–the fucker–had just delivered the Nalliahs a double-whammy.

Immediately I said, “Lord, what’s happening?? How can I even rise up and preach Your Word?” But praise Almighty God, as we prayed together for my father-in-law, the Spirit of the Lord strengthened me to rise up and preach the Word of God. That night he miraculously recovered and is now doing very well. Glory to God!

After ministering to the people of God on Saturday night, I struggled to fall asleep in my motel room in Albany, Western Australia, as I was all alone, in tears and feeling very sad for most of the night. I kept asking the Lord, “DID I GET IT WRONG???”

Enter God to account for making Nalliah look like the Fuckwit Australian of the Year.

I said, “Lord, why is it when the Body of Christ comes together to pray for rain, You answer our prayers so quickly?” The words from the Lord came to me, “For My people are united when they pray for rain.” At this moment I felt so prompted to read the prophetic word from the Lord regarding the election that I released on 11th August 2007.

As I begin reading the prophetic word from the Lord, I was greatly stirred in my spirit to read the following words that I had stated, “I will boldly declare that PM John Howard will be re-elected in the Nov election – ‘IF THE BODY OF CHRIST UNITES IN PRAYER AND ACTION.’
Again I heard the voice of the Lord, “For My people were not united in prayer and action for this election. If they were, they would have experienced spiritual revival under My freedom reigning in this nation, but now My people have chosen another way. They have not voted for My will, but for self gain and personal change.”

The fine print, people! Always, always read the fine print! That’s why Nalliah’s prophecy didn’t come to pass. Because not enough voters got with God’s program and voted for Howard. Apparently, that’s how this “democracy” thing works! Well, knock me down with a Chick Tract.

The level of disunity in the Body of Christ was very clear to me closing in on election day. I received emails and messages from many professing Christians who were voting for Labor and the Greens. I just could not understand how they could do that, as their vote could be a vote to change existing laws to give greater rights to same sex-couples, legalise Abortion on demand (up to birth), introduce Federal Vilification Laws (eliminating freedom of speech), stop Prayer in Parliament, force Christian schools to employ homosexual teachers under Anti-Discrimination Laws, and the list goes on and on.

It’s not Nalliah’s fault he got it so wrong. It’s the fault of those Muslim-loving mealy-mouthed wishy-washy bleeding-heart liberal Christians who weren’t willing to defend Biblical values (among which are included the denial of women’s reproductive rights, discrimination against sexual minorities in employment and in law, and sectarianism in Parliament) by backing John Howard, God’s choice for PM. And it’s your fault, too:

Just for your information, the Labor Government refused to preference the Family First Party, and did all its preferences with the Greens. Now both Labor and the Greens are in bed together. DID YOU VOTE THEM IN????

They’re in bed together, people!! And probably doing TEH GAY with each other.

But seriously: how can a church be so blatantly partisan–to the point where it is practically labelling as apostate those of its followers who didn’t vote for John Howard on Saturday–and still maintain a membership? This is essentially what the good pastor is (or was) saying to his sheeple: You’re not a true Christian unless you vote for Howard. Surely there are some among his flock who have taken that hint and told Nalliah (albeit perhaps in politer terms) to kindly go fuck himself? Maybe that explains the deleted comments on the Catch the Fire website.

All of this raises an interesting question. With Howard and Costello both out of the picture, which of the Liberals (because it could only be a Liberal) is God now backing to lead Australia to Christopia? Brendan Nelson? He did, after all, endorse the teaching of intelligent design. Tony Abbott? Silas?

Stay tuned until the next idiot rolls around the floor babbling in tongues to find out.

On the subject of the dearly departed (from politics), the final Search for a Scapegoat:





Either God or the Pastor has some ‘splaining to do

28 11 2007

Grods has blogged on this already, so I thought I’d take a look at the Catch the Fire website to see what Danny Nalliah’s sheeple followers make of the outcome of his prediction–made on the highest of authorities, no less–of a Howard victory.

And . . . wait . . . oh, for fuck’s sake! They’ve gone and erased the comments to this post, of which there were about seven the last time I looked. Fortunately Karen Hetherington’s prophecies are still up, and as she assures her readers, “every dream God has given me regarding political matters in Australia and other nations has come to pass.” Karen (via God) had Howard pegged as “God’s chosen vessel to lead Australia as PM” as early as 1990, she tells us, though one gets the impression reading her that God was more firmly in the Costello camp: “And when on 30.7.07 I was driving past Mt. Beerwah in Queensland (aboriginal legend a mother mountain with womb) the Spirit of God suddenly moved me to cry out in the loud aboriginal like tongue followed by the shouting our several times of ‘The Honorable Peter Costello, Prime Minister elect of Australia’.” (The amount of crazy Hetherington manages to cram into her post is truly astounding. Full marks!)

So how do the sheeple respond to the failure of these prophecies? Some go into denial:

TA Mark: We have failed Him. The Godless have been elected. We did not pray with enough self-sacrifice and fervour. . . . I feel now that this is His will, His challange to us. Over the coming years we must be strong and continue to spread the word of His Love.

Others (some of you will be familiar with this commenter’s website) go into denial:

Dear Pastor Danny, although the election was not won, we will continue to trust God that He knows more than we know. Though we are all extremely disappointed, we have to fix our eyes on Jesus. The Bible tells us that we are going to face hard times and that the Antichrist is permitted to ‘overcome the saints’ for a time. Now is the time to hold on and pray that we are able to stand firm.

And others? Well, I guess they just disappear down the memory hole. Seriously, these people are so deluded that, even when they know they’ve been lied to, they happily pull the wool over their own eyes even further.

Enjoy some Colbert:





Just when you thought the Liberal Party couldn’t be any more unelectable . . .

26 11 2007

The Opus Dei wing of the party has won a seat in Federal Parliament.

The electorate of Mitchell lies smack-bang in the middle of Jesusland (a.k.a. the Hills district of north-western Sydney) and is thus safe Liberal territory*. In 2006, Alex Hawke–who believes moderate Liberals should instead join the Greensbranch-stacked and bully-boyed his way into the Liberal candidacy. In what might someday come to be known as the “Hawke-Clarke hijack,” Hawke and David “The Teacher” Clarke have extended the influence of the uber-Christian Right over the Liberal Party in NSW and the Young Liberals nationally.

And I say more power to them. The more lunar and extremist the Liberals appear, the further they will fade into the electoral wilderness where they belong.

(P.S. Super Simmo has returned to the blogosphere!)

(*Admittedly, there was a 9.6% swing to the ALP in Mitchell.)


More YouTube gold from Swannysback:





Don’t let the door hit you on your way out

25 11 2007




Lying for Howard

21 11 2007

In the previous post I alerted you to the existence (well, once upon a time) of the giant sea scorpion. In this post I present you with the giant Australian rightwing cockroach, which–alas–is not extinct, but alive and well in the Liberal Party. (Actually, that’s a slur on giant cockroaches. Sorry, guys.)
From the ABC:

The Liberal Party has expelled two members and notified the Electoral Commission of an incident involving election campaign workers distributing material it says is false and offensive.

The party says around five people were handing out the flyers last night in the seat of Lindsay in Sydney’s west, when they were caught in the act by Labor Party members.

The ABC understands one of the people involved in the distribution of the offending material is Garry Clark, the husband of the retiring member, Jackie Kelly.

The flyer purports to be from the Islamic Federation of Australia, a group which does not exist, advocating a vote for Labor.

The Liberal Party’s state director Graham Jaeschke says the material was unauthorised and made without the knowledge of the Party’s head office.

“This is unacceptable behaviour. We’ve acted very quickly to fix this issue,” he said.

“We’ve referred it on to the Australian Electoral Commission and we’ll let the Australian Electoral Commission do their job.”

Mr Jaeschke says the party does not condone the behaviour.

“It was undertaken without any authorisation or knowledge of the Liberal Party,” he said.

Party behind in the polls a week out from the election? Here’s what you do:

  1. Invent an organisation with “Islamic” in the title, knowing how likely this adjective is to set off big flashing red warning lights in too many xenophobic outer-suburban Sydney brains.
  2. Print a flyer, purporting to be a publication of said phony “Islamic” organisation, advocating a vote for your opponent
  3. Reap the electoral rewards.

Oh, I know what you’re going to say. You’re going to tell me to give the Liberal Party credit for expelling the racist arseclowns behind this stunt. Well, I’m not going to. Because if the Liberal Party can attract into its fold individuals who consider this kind of behaviour conscionable, then that speaks volumes about what the modern Liberal Party has become.

See also: The Age





The Wonderful World of Magical Thinking XXXI

5 11 2007

The week in fundie:

(Digitalfreethought’s Atheism 101 Part 1 of 6)

  1. Roman Catholic Archbishop George Pell argues (in an article that is just begging to be fisked) that “Christianity is vital to democracy’s future” (Sydney Morning Herald). Elsewhere, he whines:

    Democracy does not need to be secular. The secularist reading of religious freedom places Christians (at least) in the position of a barely tolerated minority (even when they are the majority) whose rights must always yield to the secular agenda, although I don’t think other religious minorities will be treated the same way.

  2. Ben Jacobsen, candidate for Family First–which is calling for the banning of internet pornography in Australia–has admitted to having downloaded porn in the past. (But he never inhaled.) (The Australian)
  3. Opus Dei: the “other” Exclusive Brethren. A former member has released a book in which she reveals the misogynistic and cultish nature of this Vatican-endorsed Roman Catholic sect, and tells of one conference at which a senior member declared women to be the equals of dogs. (Let’s call said senior member the “other” Sheik Hilaly.) Opus Dei, incidentally, won preselection for the Federal seat of Mitchell earlier this year. (Telegraph)
  4. Another death-knell for secular democracy in the United States: triumphalist fundies rally across the country as Washington Governor Chris Gregoire proclaims it “Christian Heritage Week.”
  5. A Christian military boot camp for troubled teens is being investigated for homicide after the 2004 death of a student who had spent no more than two weeks at the facility. It is alleged that the boy was “punished for being too weak to exercise,” and “forced to wear a 20-pound sandbag around his neck.” When the student “vomited, defecated and urinated on himself” for several days after an oozing bump was discovered on his arm on the second day of his training, he was merely accused of being rebellious. Allowing a boy to die in his own shit, piss and vomit. It’s what Jesus would do. (via Morons.org)
  6. Hollywood continues to persecute that most oppressed and hard-done-by of religious minorities: Christians. Oh, woe. (via Effect Measure)


(Digitalfreethought’s Atheism 101 Part 2 of 6)

(Digitalfreethought’s Atheism 101 Part 3 of 6)

(Digitalfreethought’s Atheism 101 Part 4 of 6)

(Digitalfreethought’s Atheism 101 Part 5 of 6)

(Digitalfreethought’s Atheism 101 Part 6 of 6)





Surprise, fucking surprise

1 11 2007

Family First is demanding that all Federal candidates declare whether they are now, or ever have been TEH GAY:

The Family First candidate in the far north Queensland seat of Leichhardt says voters have a right to know the sexual preference of all candidates contesting the federal election.

A report in today’s Courier-Mail newspaper says Family First’s Ben Jacobsen demanded that the Liberal candidate Charlie McKillop declare if she is gay.

Mr Jacobsen, who is against gay relationships, says he was not targeting Ms McKillop, but speaking generally about every candidate.

“Look I think this is a public office, this is a person that’s going to represent Leichhardt in our House of Representatives,” he said.

“I think the public have a right to know the values that you’re going to pursue in Parliament.” (ABC)

And everybody knows that gay values aren’t Australian values, non? Everybody knows that as soon as you let one of those into Parliament, they’ll immediately proceed to infect our beloved Christian democracy with TEH GAY. Santorum spreading everywhere. Before you know it, your 15-year old son is being sodomised with the rough end of a heroin-laced outcomes-based education, while being forced to watch lesbian witch porn on the Internet.

Fundies First: the gift that keeps on giving.

UPDATE: The backpedalling has begun already.





The Wonderful World of Magical Thinking XXX

27 10 2007

The week in fundie:

  1. There’s been plenty of chatter on Oz blogs regarding the Family First “I can’t believe it’s not a Christian political party” Christian political party:

    About time there was some scrutiny of “Family” First (Mr Lefty)
    Family First home movies (Grods)
    Family First stifles free speech (Grods)
    Absolutely no connection between Family First and the church at all (Grods)
    “Right-Wing” Christian Australia’s War on Liberal Democracy (Thinker’s Podium)

  2. Southern Baptist seminary course teaches women students to “graciously submit to their husbands’ leadership.” Students learn “how to set tables, sew buttons and sustain lively dinnertime conversation.” (via The Atheist Experience)

    More over the fold . . .

  3. Pope Benedict on faith-based schools: “It is incumbent upon governments to afford parents the opportunity to send their children to religious schools by facilitating the establishment and financing of such institutions.”(via Dogma Free America)
  4. In case you missed it, Tuesday October 23 was the Earth’s birthday. 6010 years young. “Why was she born so beautiful, why was she born at all? . . .” (via The Atheist Experience)
  5. From a creationist lesson plan:

    Evaluation: Students will be monitored by teacher observation during the classroom discussion, group work and answering the appropriate questions. Reflection paragraphs will be collected. The teacher will try to determine the students’ new courage and ability to defend their belief in the Creator.

    How’s that for academic freedom? (via Pharyngula)

  6. According to Pravda, Melbourne University biologists have discovered that dolphins descended from the human inhabitants of Atlantis. (via Pharyngula)
  7. Re-closeted gay fundie James Hartline’s explanation for the recent fires in California:

    They shook their fists at God and said, “We don’t care what the Bible says, We want the California school children indoctrinated into homosexuality!” And then Governor Schwarzenegger signed into law the heinous SB777 which bans the use of “mom” and “dad” in the text books and promotes homosexuality to all school children in California.

    And then the wildfires of Southern California engulfed the land like a raging judgment against the radicalized anti-christian California rebels.

    (via Pharyngula)

  8. Security Moms“: there is a new conservative group in the US (actually a front group for a conservative Washington think-tank) that agitprops in favour of the Bush Administration’s national security and foreign policies. Family Security Matters has advocated that Bush make himself President-for-Life (in the tinpot dictator sense), and ranks universities and colleges (all of them) #2 in its list of the “Ten Most Dangerous Organizations in America” (behind Media Matters). (via Kazim’s Korner)
  9. Banning Harry Potter: it’s not just for Protestant fundies anymore. (Boston Globe)
  10. Evangelical Christian UK Army Chief of Staff declares that “Christian leaders and chaplains in the Army [are] needed to equip soldiers for” life after death. (via Dogma Free America)