I see your Hagee and raise you a Kalnins

3 09 2008

Months after John McCain dumped the anti-Semitic, anti-Catholic Rapture-welcoming televangelist John Hagee from his campaign, it appears that his would-be Vice-President Sarah Palin has a Hagee-sized albatross of her own to hang around the neck of the Republican Presidential hopeful. Ed Kalnins, senior pastor of the Wasilia Assembly of God, of which Palin was once a member (and which she addressed as recently as June), has preached that

critics of President Bush will be banished to hell; questioned whether people who voted for Sen. John Kerry in 2004 would be accepted to heaven; charged that the 9/11 terrorist attacks and war in Iraq were part of a war “contending for your faith;” and said that Jesus “operated from that position of war mode.”

[. . .]

“I hate criticisms towards the President,” he said, “because it’s like criticisms towards the pastor — it’s almost like, it’s not going to get you anywhere, you know, except for hell. That’s what it’ll get you.”

Kalnins, who claims to have received direct revelation from God, believes hundreds of thousands will flock to Alaska in “the end times”, and he has “asserted that Palin’s election as governor was the result of a “prophetic call” by another pastor at the church who prayed for her victory.” Thanks to John Evo for the heads-up. Read the rest of this entry »





Will the real Antichrist please stand up?

4 06 2008

It is high time the lunatic fringe of Christianity made up its mind about who the Anti-Christ is supposed to be.

On the one hand, a commenter by the name of “Mister Truthful” this morning made a very sound case for Barack Obama being the Anti-Christ:

IF WE ADD UP THE LETTERS IN HISFIRST, MIDDLE & LAST NAME, WE

WILL GET 666 IF WE USE SOME UNDERSTANDING!

**SO HERE IS THE FORMULA:

HIS FIRST NAME IS BARACK.

HIS MIDDLE NAME IS HUSSEIN.

HIS LAST NAME IS OBAMA.

BARACK HAS—————6 LETTERS

HUSSEIN HAS—————7 LETTERS

OBAMA HAS—————-5 LETTERS

NOW 6 PLUS 7 PLUS 5 EQUALS 18.

AND IF WE BREAK DOWN THE NUMBER 18.

WE WILL GET 6 PLUS 6 PLUS 6.
AND 666 IS THE MARK OF THE BEAST!

And he wrote that in ALLCAPS, so it must be true.

(UPDATE: BTW, nice work, Satan!)

On the other hand, former McCain endorser Pastor John Hagee has advanced the thesis that the Anti-Christ will be a Jewish gay homosexual: Read the rest of this entry »





Things they’d have difficulty believing in Salt Lake City XV

25 05 2008

The week in fundie . . .

Image via Haiku Circus

  1. Presidential candidate John McCain has dumped Christian Zionist Pastor John Hagee from his campaign, after it came to the light that the latter had claimed in a sermon that God sent Hitler to persuade the Jews to move to Israel. (via Bartholomew’s Notes on Religion)
  2. My old buddy Malott has made it onto Fundies Say The Darndest Things with a post claiming that God gave Senator Ted Kennedy cancer because of his support for abortion, TEH GAY AGENDA and the separation of church and state. Good work!
  3. Of course, there’s much worse in store for humanity if TEH EEEEEEEEEEVIL GAY AGENDA is carried through to its fruition. If that erstwhile paper of record WorldNetDaily is to be believed (and is there any reason why it shouldn’t?), God sent the Flood because people in Noah’s time practiced same-sex marriage. And considering that “4,000 out of 5,000 prophecies have already occurred exactly as the Bible predicted they would, you might want to pay attention to the rest.” For God so loves the world that he’s prepared to drown the lot of us, men, women and children, if we dare give those filthy sodomites equality before the law. It’s a good thing the Australian Government is heeding the warning, huh? (Via Fundies Say The Darndest Things)
  4. Regarding the whole gay marriage –> end of the world thing, we’re also fortunate enough to have the President of Gambia on the case. He’s promising to cut off the head of any homosexual found in his country. (Via Fundies Say the Darndest Things)
  5. The Jamaican Prime Minister is a bleeding-heart liberal by comparison. He simply doesn’t want gay people to play a role in any Cabinet in his country. (Jamaica Observer)
  6. Two stories on the Abrahamic internecine warfare front. The first concerns Orthodox Jewish youths in Israel burning hundreds of New Testaments that had been distributed by missionaries. (AP)
  7. The second concerns retired Australian Bishop Geoffrey Robinson, who in the nineties took a leading role in encouraging the Catholic Church to face up to its responsibilities regarding sexual abuse. He’s currently on a speaking tour in the United States in support of his recent book, Confronting Power and Sex in the Catholic Church, and has been denied permission by the Cardinal Archbishop of Los Angeles, Roger Mahony, from speaking on church property in his territory. Cardinal Mahony has previously been caught telling lies about his awareness of sexual abuse within the Church. (Via The Religion Report)